September 9th, 2005

Subject: well.... Time: 09:29 am

I'm off to TX wish me luck!!

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September 2nd, 2005

Current Music: Hawthorne Heights Subject: well gosh... Time: 11:36 am Current Mood: frustrated

So the wedding was great. Turned out to be an amazing day. The ceremony was beautiful and everyone looked awesome. The reception was totally kick ass. Everyone had so much fun! So I'm real glad all that turned out well.... My problem now is this stupid hurricane. Why, when there hasn't been a hurricane this bad to hit the US in like YEARS does it have to hit New Orleans right after we move there!? We have no idea if our apartment is flooded or looted... The base sustained minimal damage which is a good sign, but a mall right by our house burned to the ground cause they couldn't reach it. Also there is an inlet of the Mississippi in our backyard, maybe 200 ft from our apartment. So we really don't know what to think. I'm thinking the worst so if things aren't destroyed I'll be happy.... EVERYTHING we own except for the clothes we brought for vacation could be destroyed. I'm still in shock. I'm just glad we weren't down there and that Mike brought our puppy home instead of leaving him in a kennel or with a friend. At least everyone we know down there got evacuated too. Well I dunno, I just needed to bitch about my current situation.... so thats about it.... everyone wish me luck cause i might just have to start over from scratch. OH and we're going to be going to Fort Worth, TX for awhile whenever we leave Ohio.... So yeah that's about it.... peace out homies

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July 23rd, 2005

Current Music: Wayword Son- Kansas Subject: HI! Time: 01:29 pm Current Mood: busy

So how's it going?? Oh my did I miss the computer.... But all will be well soon.... grandma and grandpa are getting us a computer as a wedding present!!!! Isn't that freaking awesome!??! I thought so! And then I can get online and do homework and stuff... yes!!!! Anyways, New Orleans is crazy... it's always hot as hell.... not even in the shade or when it gets dark does it get less hot. And it's always so humid.... * sigh * The roads are frickin crazy here too.... all one ways and confusin and shit... and no one knows how to drive... it's bad.... like real bad.... most of the people are really trashy too.... but uhh yeah ... new orleans rocks!! * hmmm.... * anyways, I really like our apartment. It's really nice and it's gated and we have an alarm system, and pretty much everyone who lives in the complex is in the military. So that's cool. There's a swimming pool that we go to pretty much every day. So that's nice, hopefully I'll be nice and tan and a little skinnier next time I come home.... which will be soon!!! Anyways... I am currently trying to get a job on base cause the rack room that i'm supposed to be working at SUCKS.... it's nothing like ours... i miss a good boss and good workers and a nice store and decent customers.... oh well.... I still have to go to UNO and talk to them about not being able to start until spring, but i have to find the place first... like i said the city is confusing and downtown is scary. We've gone to Bourbon St. a couple of times, but it's really dirty and yucky so we mostly just stay home and party. We are going to see Crossfade Wednesday though... it's right downtown at the House of Blues, so that should be interesting if not fun.... Yesterday was my birthday... the big 24. Mike got me a puppy for my bday.... he's soooooo cute. He's a mutt, a little bit of beagle, a little bit of hound dog..... some other stuff... he's really cute and he'll be a good medium sized dog. He's a good puppy too... doesn't really bark... good about going potty outside... chews on pretty much everything but that's ok.... i love him anyways.... his name is Jager... like the drink... that's what they named him at the shelter and we thought it was cute so we just kept it like that.... Anyways.... I'm coming home August 8th to prepare for the wedding. I can't wait to come home... I miss my peeps and I miss Luigi's and chocolate peanutbutter ice cream.... and my cat and my mom.... and the cool evenings... although I hear it's been pretty hot up there too. The wedding is going to be awesome... I can't wait. Everything is going pretty good so far, I'm going to have a lot to get everything all settled when I come home though. We've got alot of RSVPs though alot of people I didn't expect to come are coming... I can't wait.... ANYWAYS, I guess that's about all that's up... Just chillin.... Well I will write more when I get home and soon after I should be online pretty consistently so I will talk to y'all later!! Peace out homies!!!

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June 22nd, 2005

Current Music: Blink 182 Subject: hey there..... Time: 10:00 am Current Mood: chipper

I know it's been a minute since I updated but I figure I better do it now cause I'm leaving soon and prolly won't be around a computer much till we get one... So here's the diz-nealy... Saturday is my friend from work's wedding.... Her name is Dee.... she's kinda crazy but she's pretty cool overall... So I'm going to that... Should be fun. Then Sunday morning.. i'm moving to New Orleans. Got the U Haul all set up... our apartment is all set up.... We get the keys Monday when I get there and we sign the lease. I'm super excited... but can anyone imagine me driving a Uhaul with my car in tow behind?!?! Me either!! Matt's going with me though so I'm sure I'll be ok. So the next big thing... We're having a ceremony in August. I've been mad planning for this thing, so it better be good!! I'm sure it will be... I'm excited. Being part of Mike's family is crazy though... Like I understand that we're married and he's not here but he expects me to talk to and go visit them as much as he did!! I'm like come on now!! However I do love his family... I just get so nervous around them... I guess it's cause most parents like me in the beginning and then I screw up or they get weird, and I am always nervous about impressing them... oh well... So another great thing I got going for me is I already have a job down there at a Rack Room Shoes.... same as mine just different place... so that's cool... I won't have to worry about looking for a job.... and if I don't like it at that one I'm going to apply to work on base... either way I'm good as long as I'm working at least part time... Also I got transferred to University of New Orleans.... AND i got a scholarship that takes care of ALL the out of state student fees... so all I have to pay is the regular fee for classes which isn't too bad... so they have a civil engineering program but they also have a marine engineering and naval architecture program which could be kinda cool.... so I'm gonna check that out.... so that's about it.... all in all life is going good... I do have to leave my cat here which makes me sad but we might get a new kitten or a puppy so that's cool.... so yeah... i'll be back in august and for holidays and stuff but if you're ever in New Orleans come visit!!! peace out homies!

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April 14th, 2005

Current Music: Shinedown Subject: hell yes Time: 11:28 am Current Mood: ecstatic

so finally life is kicking in for me! I'm so happy with Mike, things are going great for us. It sucks to be away from him, but I'm so glad we got married :o) I can't wait to move down there this summer.... we already have an apartment picked out kinda... he's just gotta check it out when he gets back from North Carolina to make sure it's ok, but it looks and sounds frickin awesome and we can easily afford it.... also I've already got a job set up down there at Rack Room!! Things are falling into place so easily that it makes me think that I'm finally doing something right.... I withdrew from my classes at Stark and I miss it already but I have SO much to do to get ready to move and stuff that I needed those days off. I'm still working full time and will be working full time when I get down there so we will have PLENTY of money.... so that's pretty hot... ^_^ I'm going to start going to University of New Orleans next spring, and I should be finished with my degree by the time we leave New Orleans... I am just so excited!! I will miss everyone and everything here so much, but I'm so excited to be starting my own life and my own family. I'm really happy that things are going so well. As a wedding present and because she promised me she would for me awhile ago my mom got us a bed. It's a queen sized sleigh bed and it's really nice.... pillowtop comfy ass mattress too.... it's getting delivered today and I can't wait to sleep in it!! Mike might be coming home next weekend too, which is frickin awesome cause i miss him hella bad... well that's about it.... everything's not completely perfect, i'm getting frustrated with some people in my life right now, but it's ok.... i think we're all just super stressed now...... so yeah, i guess i'm gonna go relax and wait for my bed to get here and then i'm gonna go to linens and things to find some cool stuff :o) peace out homies!!!

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March 24th, 2005

Current Music: My Chemical Romance Subject: hmmm Time: 12:21 pm Current Mood: cheerful

well.... I have missed alot... for spring break I came to New Orleans to see Mike. I left late on the 16. The first few days were a little boring cause Mike had to work during the day, but he stayed in the hotel with me and we had lots of fun at night time.... then came his days off.... we went car shopping for him, broke my car, took it to get fixed.... and umm.... yeah.... we got married!!!! ^_^ I'm a Navy wife now!!! How cute is that?!?! Well my car is still getting worked on so I'm stuck down here till Tuesday. So I will be back late Tuesday evening. Then I'll finish up this semester, and move down here over the summer. It's amazing here... the weather is frickin awesome... until it gets to be summer and becomes a sweltering 90 degrees with 100% humidity... but that's cool... and the city is really neat except the roads are confusing as all hell.... The base is really nice, and I can come and go as I want now that I have a military id, and I've met a few of Mike's buddies and they all seem pretty cool. I am staying in Mike's room till my car gets fixed. It's pretty nice.... He shares a bathroom and kitchen with another guy, someone he was in A School with, but the bedroom is all ours ;o) I do laundry for us during the day while he's at work, and just play around on base, there's a bowling alley * i actually broke 100!!! * and a rec. center, obviously computers, and a really nice fitness center. The NEX is right next to the barracks too and they have pretty much everything I would ever need.... and what they don't have, the mall does which is right close.... so we're going to be planning a ceremony for over the summer sometime, before I leave, and I'll be looking for an apartment for us while he is in C school in N.C. I still can't believe it but I am so happy!!! We haven't told our families yet, but we've told all our friends... the true ones say they are happy for us if we are happy, and the ones who must not really be friends are being assholes..... I know it looks stupid, but we're happy and in love and that's all that matters :o) well, that's about it.... I'm just waiting for him to get off work now, then we're supposed to go see about his getting this car... it's a 2005 Suzuki Reno, just came out this year... it's pretty cool, stick shift, nice stereo, I like it.... so yeah.... anyways, that's about it..... hope everything is going ok in OH!! ^_^ I'll be home Tuesday!! Peace out homies!!!

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March 22nd, 2005

Current Music: Natalie- Going Crazy Subject: * sigh * Time: 12:11 am Current Mood: ecstatic

Life is finally good again.... It's been a wonderful couple of weeks let me tell you and it's only about to get better. Mike and I are FINALLY back together. I'm so glad, I really thought that he was gone forever... I'm so happy. The best part is, we get to have make-up sex cause I'm going to see him... in NEW ORLEANS!!! Next week!!!!! ^_^ I'm so excited. I'm driving down there, and staying for a whole week!! I already got the hotel and it's right by the base, and I'll get to go do all kinds of crazy fun stuff!!! Oh man, I can't WAIT to have a vacation!! And ya know what?! I deserve it because I am getting promoted at work. I get to be a MIT at a different store, raise, everything, I love it! It really makes me feel good to know I'm good enough to be a manager, Rachel even makes little comments about stuff I do that shows I'd make a good manager... I'm so excited!! SO anyways, Life is good.... I got Mike, I got a good job, school's going ok... i'm dropping a couple of classes, but that's ok.... who knows what's gonna happen in the next 4 or 5 months... So yeah, I'm bout to go crash cause I gotta be at the Job in the morning... ugh. K bye!

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March 17th, 2005

Current Music: green day Subject: boys are stupid Time: 10:53 am Current Mood: discontent

well sorry i didn't write about my weekend earlier but i've been under the weather. When I got to FL mike met me at the airport. we went to the hotel * in my sweet ass rental car * and sat there and talked for awhile.... after listing the things i would have to do to prove myself to him and checking my phone, he said it was settled... that he was going to give me a chance.... so from there... we had an AWESOME couple of days... lots of kissing/cuddling/other stuff.... we went to the beach, went to the mall, went to a couple movies, went out to eat... he paid for everything and bought me all kinds of stuff.... it was really fun and FL was so nice!! Then by Sunday night a friend from one of my classes text messaged me fucking with me and Mike flipped out.... said he couldn't do it.... he couldn't forget about what happened so on and so forth.... so we are officially not together.... * sigh * it broke my heart especially after all the fun we had. So I had to say goodbye to him and FL and come back to OH. It sucked... big time. Now I've still talked to him everyday and we are going to remain friends, and maybe someday more but I'm completely crushed. The thing is, the whole situation made me realize alot about my life and me as a person.... and I'm thinking about making a MAJOR life change. I always said if Ryan and I ever broke up I would join the Air Force or the Navy... now that I've been through what I have, I'm seriously thinking about joining the Navy... like I'm about 90% sure I'm going to.... I think it would help me become a better person, teach me discipline and responisibilty, not to mention give me alot of great oppurtunities that even though I'm in school and all that I just don't see myself getting any other way.... I feel like my life is on repeat and I need to break out of the cycle... and me being the way I am, I feel like this is just about the only option anymore...... I still have alot to think about and talk about and figure out and I'm going to take the next month to work out and get ready, and make sure this is something I really want to do because it's a huge commitment * and apparently I have commitment problems.... * So I'm not rushing into it, but I think that's where my life is going to take me... who knows.... maybe that's the whole reason i met mike... was to make me realize what i need to do in life.... I feel like he was meant to be in my life and he always says the same thing about me.... maybe that's why.... * sigh * well other than that and being horribly sick, not much is up.... just work and school..... hopefully by this time next year I will not be at the same point i am now and the same point i was last year at this time.... i ready for a change, ready to grow up, ready to live my life......... well time to take a nap before going back to school.... peace out homies....

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February 10th, 2005

Current Music: 96.5 Subject: hmm Time: 09:58 am Current Mood: nervous

well tommorows the big day... I am really nervous cause I have no idea what's going to happen. I'm feeling 50/50 on the issue.... but I'm scared. I'm sure he'll hang out with me so I'm not worried about being alone or anything, and if he doesn't oh well, i'll get a 6 pack and chill in the hotel room at night and go to the beach and the mall and stuff during the day..... Its supposed to be like 60 degrees which is awesome... I can't wait to get away from the snow!! I have been praying every night and morning that things will work out... I hope our relationship is as strong as I thought it was and we'll make it through this... So yeah, I have school all day today, sometime i have to drive up to Akron to get my check since they didn't come with Shipment yesterday and then after my last class I have to go home and pack and stuff.... then i gotta be at the airport tommorow morning by 10:30 so i'll be up nice and early to get all cute and make sure I have everything... well that's about it for now.... everyone wish me luck and throw some prayers out there for me.... I'll let ya'll know what happens when i get back.... peace out homies

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February 8th, 2005

Subject: interesting Time: 03:42 pm Current Mood: aggravated

well things are getting interesting... Michael called me a few times yesterday. He's not really mad anymore... just hurt and says that we won't ever be able to be together again because he won't trust me... But I'm still going to FL this weekend, to "try and salvage our friendship" as he likes to say... I'm so upset and frustrated. I know I made a really bad, stupid mistake but at this point in our relationship something like that would never happen... the whole situation is completely different and he doesn't have anything to worry about.... I just want him to let go of what happened and look at the way things were up until Saturday... I'm not expecting things to be perfect or for him to still be proposing to me, but i wish he would look at our relationship and realize how much it has changed, how much i have grown and how much love we have for each other. I think he's really confused at this point... I can tell he still loves me, but he has too much pride to let someone who hurt him so much be so close... * sigh * I don't know what to do anymore... I don't want to lose him, but how can I prove to him that he can trust me???? I'm going crazy... well the good news in my life is that I'm getting an A in Physics 2. I'm super proud of myself, but i'm so upset now that I can barely bring myself to even go to school. Work is cool, cause I got people to talk to there, and I'm so busy that it keeps my mind off things..... grrrrrr...... well i guess all i can do is wait till I get down there and see what happens... anyone got any advice???

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February 7th, 2005

Current Music: yellowcard Subject: well Time: 10:04 am Current Mood: crappy

well we're back to the same point we were at over the summer. Michael broke up with me two nights ago.... Which is crazy and stupid considering his valentine's day present for me was that he was going to propose. So..... once again I've gone and fucked things up..... although this time I think it's taken a little out of proportion. Everyone else seems to think he's crazy for it too. Well, I guess I'm still going to FL to "see if we can salvage anything in the way of our friendship" This is just how it happened over the summer. He broke up with me after flipping out, then was really mean to me, then wanted to be friends, then we were friends with benefits, then we were back together. So I can only hope it will follow the same pattern. It has so far.... I think the thing that upsets me the most about it is that we had a whole future planned.... now my whole future is changing.... I don't know what it's going to be like, where I'm gonna go.... but I liked the future we had planned for ourselves. It was going to be great... Now I'm sad and I gotta go lay down..... peace out.....

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February 3rd, 2005

Current Music: Aerosmith Subject: hmmm Time: 05:01 pm Current Mood: excited

so I was reviewing the UNO website and up to 64 credit hours can be transferred there, and I will have like 72 after this semester. I'm sure some of my classes won't be the same and won't transfer but that's cool that means I'll only have like 2 years left and I'll be fully graduated with a Bachelor's. So that's really exciting. I'm sure I'll be accepted, although I still have to send them the application fee, but I'm getting really excited. I was looking at apartments for rent in New Orleans just to see what they are like and the price ranges. They have so many AWESOME apartments for like $450-$550 that have like everything possible and more, like swimming pools and balconies/patios and some awesome shit. Mike told me last night he'll get like $900 a month for rent and like $350 for food and stuff, so that's awesome. I can't wait till summer now!!! I talked to my dad about it already, and I talked to my friends about it. My mom is the only person I haven't talked about it too yet.... I'm kinda scared to. So Mike told me today that when I come to FL I need to bring my ID and SS card for my surprise?! I was like wtf?! So I have NO idea what's going on. But only a week left and I'll find out!! ^_^ I can't wait to go to FL. Go somewhere warm and fun and not crappy AND get to see my man!!! ^_^ well that's about all that's going on. My class is going to start soon so I'm outta here.... peace out homies!!

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February 2nd, 2005

Current Music: Green Day Subject: yay!! Time: 10:22 am Current Mood: curious

So only a week left till I get to go to FL!! I can't wait. I can't wait to be somewhere warm with no snow!!! It'll be fun times! Things are going really well with me and Mike too. As far as things are now it looks like I will be moving down to New Orleans in the summer and transferring to school down there. Then at least when I graduate I'll have a bachelors not just an AA. So I'm looking forward to the end of this semester. Although it really sucks cause now I have a bunch of friends in my major, and I'm all into the classes and clubs and stuff now. So I guess it will be good but it will be sad. I'm doing pretty decent in all my classes now too. I think I'm going to drop Surveying 2 though. 5 classes is alot, and i have no idea what I'm doing, and the credit probably won't even get transferred anyways. Plus then maybe I'll actually get a whole day off of work and school. Actually get some sleep........ Well that's it for now..... peace out homies!! ps- also EVERYONE of my friends knows what i'm getting for valentines day. and they wont tell me and i wanna know really bad!!! :o(

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January 27th, 2005

Current Music: computer lab sounds Subject: oh wow Time: 11:42 am Current Mood: busy

so school is going well, but slightly frustrating. I'm taking 5 classes and working full time. Thats alot of time and energy I'm putting out. * sigh * Oh well, hopefully I'll do good. :o) So I also thought that I knew what Mike was doing for me for Valentine's Day but I was tricked.... So i don't know, and it's killing me...... stupid people who know * scowl * anyways, in two weeks I'll be in FL and I'll know then. I'm super excited!!! Also I actually get to go to the ASCE meeting at school next weekend. Supposedly we're trying to hook up with Habitat for Humanity to build, maybe even design a house. That's pretty sweet..... so that's about it.... I'm going shopping till Physics..... so peace out homies!! ^_^

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January 24th, 2005

Current Music: Papa Roach Subject: well.... Time: 01:55 am Current Mood: contemplative

so he said he was drunk when we got in our arguement and doesn't even remember talking to me... I'm not sure if I believe him or not, but oh well. He acted great and wonderful like normal today. He just confuses me so much sometimes. I don't quite know what to think. I guess I just have to live and wait till the next time I see him * 18 days * and see how it goes when we are together. Cause if it's just as amazing when I see him every time I see him, then I can live through a few stupid fights. Plus I just tell myself, that it's a situation I have to grow accustomed to and that it won't always be like this. After we get through this we'll get to be together. I just have to remember that and I will be ok. So school I think is going to be ok. I'm interested in most of my classes, therefore will probably go to most of them. Plus school will keep me busy. And generally when I'm not at school I'm at work. At least since I didnt have to go in till late today I got alot done. I cleaned my room.... it needed it hella bad. And I did some laundry, and I cleaned my car. Tommorow I gotta finish laundry and do homework. Fun times huh?? Then I gotta go to school and work. Busy day.... Well I guess I better get to sleep then huh??? Goodnight homies!! ^_^

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January 23rd, 2005

Subject: oh my Time: 02:25 am

I just don't understand anymore. What is it that I am supposed to do???? How do I make someone happy?? Michael gets so mad at me for things that I don't even understand.... Like today. He called me at noon before I went into work.... he told me to call him later, so I did... he didn't answer so I left him a message. I left him a message a little bit later too.... Then I called him a couple other times throughout the day since he never called me back.... and i stress a couple, not like 10,000,000 times. Apparently that annoyed him. He didn't understand why I was sad that he hadn't called me back until 1 in the morning.... I just don't understand what he wants from me.... he wants me to be completely devoted to him... not even TALK to other guys, yet he doesn't want to talk to me himself half the time. Now I know what you guys are thinking... and he is not messin around with anyone else.... he's not that type of person. He just needs his space.... but he needs to learn that as much as i have to compromise, he does too... and with all we've been through, even simple little things, I should have realized that he never compromises... he just gets his own way. * sigh * I don't know... i love him so much, and i've never wanted anything to work out so bad, but i just don't know if it will..... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :o( i dont know what to do anymore!!!!!

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January 17th, 2005

Current Music: Green Day Subject: yay Time: 10:45 am Current Mood: awake

school starts tommorow... i'm a little nervous. i usually am for the first day. It'll be all good by the end of the week. I also get my pictures back on Wed. I can't wait to see them!! I gotta get some good frames to put them in. My mom finished our puzzle too. It's really cool. It's the Twin Towers and New York City skyline at sunset. I'm gonna glue it today and then figure out somehow to frame it or mat it or something. So only 3 and a half weeks till I get to go to FL. I can't wait to get out of OH even if it is only for a few days. I think unless it really sets back my school I might be going to New Orleans at the end of the summer instead of waiting till I graduate. It depends on alot of things though. Like if I can take all my remaining classes in the Fall, or if I won't graduate till Spring, if most of my credits transfer down there, if I can be counted as a military dependant so I can get in state tuition.... who knows, I kinda have to wait till the end of this semester to see. I can't believe I'm turning 24 this summer.... do you know how scary that is??? At least I'm finally getting to a turning point in my life, almost graduated, moving away.... hopefully other things... * sigh * well, that's about all thats going on. I've been hanging out with Ryan again lately.... I missed him. I always have fun with him and the canton crew... hopefully he will sign up for that class so we can be in a class together!! Well off to grab some breakfast/lunch.... peace out homies!!!!!

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January 10th, 2005

Subject: hell yeah Time: 01:00 pm

so guess what i get to do for Valentines day?!!? GO TO FLORIDA TO SEE MIKE!!!!!!! ^_^ I can't wait!! It's gonna be flippin awesome!! * sigh * I'm so happy!

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January 8th, 2005

Current Music: green day Subject: oh my.... Time: 11:17 pm Current Mood: sleepy

so I have closed the last 4 nights in a row.... i'm tired. * sigh * oh well.... at least all i have to do tommorow is go to cleveland heights and do inventory. I've been working on a puzzle. It's a picture of the new york skyline * twin towers included * at sunset. it's really pretty. I've got all the buildings done, the only thing that's left is the sky. A whole crap load of blue pieces... should be hard, but at least entertaining. Been talking to Mike everyday on the phone. Things are good between us. I can't wait till spring break. I'll get to go to New Orleans to see him!! Then hopefully he'll be home at the beginning of June. Well that's about it, nothing really exciting happening.... and i'm sooooooo tired, so I'm going to bed now... night homies!!

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January 4th, 2005

Current Music: Green Day- Novacaine Subject: oh wow Time: 02:01 pm Current Mood: stressed

So why does life have to be difficult?? I just got used to having mike around again and then he has to leave. He's in FL right now... which must be nice, with the sun, and the warmth, and the palm trees.... This holiday season was absolutely wonderful. It was amazing even. I am not worried... that's what he keeps telling me... don't worry, everything will be ok, this is just the beginning. And I'm not worried. For once I'm actually not. I know he won't cheat on me, and I know that he wants to be with me... what really kills me is missing him. It's so hard to be away from him. I can't wait till I graduate and get to move to New Orleans. * sigh * i dunno... i just feel so lonely now.... well i have to go pay for school and return some movies so i guess im out of here...

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